Horsemanship

“One who believes that he has mastered the art of horsemanship has not yet begun to understand the horse.” – Unknown

As we visited the barn more often, my daughter got significantly more comfortable with the attention to detail that was necessary to be more than just an average horsewoman and rider. She focused on the specifics, not just for her benefit, but also for whatever lesson horse she was riding that day. She had become much better at grooming – from picking hooves to brushing their coat. She spent a significant amount of time connecting with her lesson horses instead of just using them like an accessory of the day. I was very clear with her when she began riding – the effort you give to any one individual part of this sport is the same amount of effort you will give to all of it. Her effort was never forced, she loved every moment of her time with all of her horses – in or out of the saddle.

We were never late to the barn – never. I don’t like being late anywhere, but especially when we go to the barn. I wanted to ingrain in her the need to never feel rushed. Showing up to the barn with only a few minutes to go grab your horse from their paddock or stall, groom them properly, and get them tacked up was never going to be done with one-hundred percent effort if it felt more like a chore than a bond being built with a horse. We always prioritized safety – for my daughter and the horse. She focused on staying calm any time she was around them, respecting their space while remembering their size, and avoiding anything that may startle them. Following this standard has significantly impacted her ability to ride well and have substantially more good rides – and any day she was stressed or upset her horse could tell and her ride would be average at best.

Unfortunately, not all barns or equestrian facilities teach Horsemanship. They are not concerned with the well-being of the horse nor are they really focused on the well-being of the rider, they just kind of function with the mentality of the more “bodies” that come in for a lesson, the more money they will make. They don’t look into why the “naughty horse” is being naughty or why riders keep eating the dirt when they ride the young pony. We learned real Horsemanship on our own – up until we switched barns a little over a year ago. When we focus on practices like proper handling on the ground, regular grooming, proper saddle fit and girth tightness, we are able to focus on what is best for the horse and for the rider.

When my daughter moved into her “advanced-level lessons” at our old barn she had a really close friend who always rode the same naughty pony. The pony mare had done big things at Pony finals years prior, but was now a handful for nearly anyone to ride. The pony had been put into lessons with riders who didn’t know how to ride well, didn’t understand how to properly use their aids, and had taught bad habits while letting the mare get away with things she shouldn’t have been able to. Aids, if used properly, can be extremely efficient; however, young riders weren’t being taught that communicating with your horse through the natural aids – seat, leg, and hands, comes first. Artificial aids – crop, whip, and spurs – should only assist your natural aids and should never be overused. However, we have seen it happen at least once at every horse show we have ever been to. A certain horse or pony clearly has something wrong or it is just not their day and yet the rider uses these artificial aids aggressively after the horse has already said enough. Why riders and their trainers refuse to listen, I will never understand.

Listening to the horse should always come first. The first show my daughter went to with our new barn was on an extremely cold winter December day in Pennsylvania. It was windy and snowy; definitely not the most enjoyable for any horse, rider, parent, trainer, or groom there. The show day was long, but the early morning schooling seemed promising. It was a show our Mare had never been to with a new groom and a new trainer; we were the only people she knew well or felt she could really trust there. She did all of the things beautifully in the morning, but as the day got longer and longer she didn’t seem so sure of how this might go. My daughter entered the indoor arena for her first division at nearly eight o’clock in the evening – everyone was exhausted from waiting. Our mare told my daughter very quickly that today was not their day. My daughter asked nicely multiple times, adding leg and attempting to push her forward into the arena, but our mare politely told her “no” again. My daughter stroked her withers, told her it was “OK” and walked quietly out of the arena, still in the saddle, with tears running down her face. She was so disappointed. I was too, but I was also so proud of her in that moment. She respected her Mare and understood where the line was. She let her Mare know that she heard her and was not going to damage their bond.

The horse show year prior, my daughter had won every ribbon imaginable with over twenty of them alone being the blue and over ten being champion. She didn’t need the ribbons to prove herself, the love and grace she showed her Mare in that moment will bring hundreds of blue and champion ribbons in the years to come. Many of the competitions since then have I watched adults in the arena who clearly need a lesson on horsemanship; I can proudly say my daughter could easily be the one to teach them a thing or two and even she has so much more to learn.